Enigmatic Feelings

There are so many feelings that I can't figure out what they actually mean.  Just like having different feelings for the same moment at different times. You may be the happiest person when something really special happens but later isn't as happy as it is supposed to be. No exact idea why am I writing this up, but this is gonna be quick.
My enigmatic feelings.
Feeling low when you are supposed to be extremely happy or feeling extremely happy when supposed to be low. Having sympathy for someone you don't like. Acting sad to grab someone's attention. Enjoying it when someone is trying to embarrass you. Smiling and acting like everything is okay even when alone. Having hope even after the darkest time has passed. Wanting to take care of someone random. Not believing your own efforts. Acting like not interested in gadgets or smart phones. Acting not convinced even after being convinced. Faking anger. Faking the smile.

Maybe my mind is in a mess right now.

Being Eighteen and The Future

School's over. My Board results are out and I have achieved a good percentage. Masha Allah. I will be leaving for my College studies soon.

The best is yet to come.

I have changed, from being a shy girl to a confident leader.Yet, I am scared of the Future. There is not a single day I haven't come across with questions about my future. 'I wonder what's next?' 'Will I complete my dreams?' 'I wonder if I can...'
Trust me, it ain't easy. Before turning eighteen, I badly wanted to turn eighteen. Thinking about being responsible, independent and an end to adolescent mood swings sounded perfect. All that never meant on your eighteenth birthday  you would meet a fairy like Cinderella met and boom, wow, a responsible and independent girl.
I want to overcome my fears. I want to learn a lot from my life and experiences. I wanna do new things, be it anywhere. I want to bring goodness and positive changes in me. So many.

I am planning to go to India only because I want education, just for three years and for it I think I will deal with the problems. There are so many things I would love to have in my life during these three years.
# I need not mention my parents, their support and love will always be there and since I will be talking to them almost everyday, I will definitely be in contact with them. Oh wait, I will miss the Pepsi, Chocolates, Shawarma, Al-Baik dad buys and Mom's scoldings and unexpected support.
# Sarah and Raniya comes first in the list. I know I will make new friends, but friends like them are a must everywhere. Who will solve my everyday problems like Sarah does each time I tell her?
# My sisters, specially the elder three. I share a unique relationship with each one of them.
Shahmida, who actually is a major problem solver. Most of the time when I am confused I call her up and she solves it. During most of the bad times, her support has always brought me out of the depression zone.
Shamsheeda, even though we rarely talk, its nice to be around her and talk to her. She talks logic and sense. We share certain things in common like our handwriting is the same.  She has knowledge of a lot of stuffs.
Shaimah, she sounds stupid most of the time, but there's a smarty engineer in her. She keeps annoying me asking me to get married as if she already has a guy in mind.
Oh, who will ask me to 'get married' everyday?
# My Room. How can I not add it into the list? I will miss every single piece in my room, after all I spend most of my day with them.
# Cluster Meet. I wanna stay an Athlete forever.
# This Blog. Each time I come back, I will surely write a post.
# My Virtual Family. As in my school mates.

So many memories. Hope I can make more better ones in future.

Worth Reading

I saw this post on The Logical Indian's Page on Facebook. Couldn't stop myself from sharing it here.
This is beautiful. Masha Allah. :')

"I got married when I was 21 years old, but I knew my husband since the 2nd grade. Literally, we've fought with each other about everything - from the swings when we were young to copying homework when we were older. He used to have a Royal Enfield, so eventually we could skip college and go for long drives to Khandala. Even after we were married, I used to complain that he never wrote me any love letters and he would blame it on his bad handwriting and just laugh at me. Most of the times, I would say - 'am I talking to the wall you stupid fellow?' and he would continue laughing...till finally even I would laugh with him!"
"Did you ever think of remarrying?"
"I don't know if you'll understand this, but when you love someone with such a genuine heart you cannot look beyond that person - even after death. I don't know about your generation but for me, love cannot happen more than once and I've had mine. Cancer took him away at a young age of 32, but all my happiest memories are in those 10 years with him. He passed away in 1975 but till today from the time I wake up to the time I sleep - every step of the day I miss him with all my heart."

Via - Humans of Bombay

The Twelve years journey in IISJ ends

There ends the journey in I.I.S.J.
Yeah, now I actually feel 18.

Mahwish Zaman's Photography

It is IISJ who made me a Leader, Topper, School Captain in Cluster Meet and an Athlete.
Memories worth cherishing. :')

Stand Out

Are you having a thought?
Why does this happen to me always..
I'm stuck, deep inside
And there's none who can help,
All the colors are faint,
My life is all grey.

I've to tell you that every person breathing this very moment has thought about it,
Its not just you.
You're unique, Just like everyone else.
So why fit in, when you're born to stand out!

Days pass by,
People come and go,
And you're still stuck in the past,
Aren't you sick of living in weird-om,
Dreams are fading away,
It's time to stop running away.

You're unique, Just like everyone else
So why fit in, when you're born to stand out!

I've to tell you that every person breathing this very moment has thought about it,
Its not just you.
You're unique, Just like everyone else.
So why fit in, when you're born to stand out!

So why fit in, when you're born to stand out!

First Song | Three years Ago |  

March Update Plus Favourites

March has been the month of gifts. It was a blessed month.

I had my school academic session break in the beginning of March. An end to being an 11th grader.

* 12th grader now
* 2nd Stream Topper

March Favs! Just three for this month.

1. Vaseline's Aloe Fresh Moisturizer

VOTED NO. 1

I have dry skin and my skin is allergic to most of the creams and lotions. But this one suited my skin quite well. It makes my skin moist through out the day. It works kinda similar to Oats Extract moisturizer. I use it twice daily.








2, Indomie's Green Chili Flavor

I am in love with this. I love Spicy food. I can just have this the whole day! Spicy and Yummy.

3. Chamomile Tea

I've written about it on my other blog. Read it here : Hebal Tea
Its calming, relaxing and soothing. Mom loves it too.

The Power of Forgiveness

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Have you ever been wronged by someone? Our nature is such that, when it happens, we never forgive the person. We want to even them out. That's the reason why Gandhi's quote is appropriate. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. If you wanna live above the average then you must learn to Forgive.
The main reason why most of you can't forgive is because you can't forgive yourself. You might have made mistakes in the past and blame yourself for it. And when you can't Forgive yourself, it is difficult to Forgive others. So, first Forgive yourself.
Nobody is perfect. Every human makes a mistake. The difference comes when you rectify it or not. Therefore, there is no reason not to give yourself a second chance. Only by giving yourself a second chance can you give others a second chance. You will then learn to forgive others.
Forgiveness is a matter of decision and not a feeling. You might not feel like Forgiving a person but you can decide to Forgive. Make the Decision. Let go of it and let God handle it. 'Let Go & let God.'
You may think that by not forgiving them you are making their life miserable. But what about yours? It is more or lesser the same. Because there's no Peace. Peace comes from Forgiveness. No matter how much you own, inner peace can't be achieved. Do you feel like there's no problem? Have you forgotten what true peace is like?
Forgiveness is the key to peace, health and happiness.
Remember,
If we can find Forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem.
Make a list of all the people who you haven't forgiven, for its time for you to live a peaceful life!