College life?

Been in St. Teresa’s for four months, India for five months and ten months as an adult, though I can still feel the adolescent in me. This post is about all that.

Maybe a bit long post, but if you know me, I know you will read through.

I miss my parents, sisters, friends and Jeddah badly. I am at my Mom’s place. It is here that I update my blog. I can’t write regularly even if I want to. In the hostel I am too busy or lazy to write. I am going back to the hostel in two days and I thought I need to update things here before I go back.

I have my Semester exams going on. Ignoring that, I am going back home on 18^th of next month. Yeah, after S-I-X months! Will be back home in 38 days. Insha Allah.

I have come to love the number ‘18’ after ‘7.’ My name has got 7 letters, my birthday is on 7^th of Jan, 1997. I made it my favourite number when I was in tenth, when my class used to be XA7, Roll no, 07. Hah!

So.

St. Teresa’s, instead of calling it a College, I call it post-school.

As far as I have been told, this is the part of our life where we can enjoy the most or where we must enjoy the most because after this it is never the same. Later, you become someone’s wife, then mother and then the generation just moves on. Doesn't mean that the happy life just ends, it may be happier but with lots of responsibilities, losses and gains.

In St. Teresa’s I bunk less. Like very less. We are fined if we are seen walking around, 500 Rs for just sitting in the Gym Plaza during class hours. I have not been fined yet though. Gym Plaza is where you can relax and have a coffee break as our mini canteen is just close. Gym Plaza is actually our basketball court.

The reason I bunk less is not because of the fine, its cause I am the class representative. I am the one who has to carry the attendance register and take attendance every hour. Duh.

Bunking for me isn't jumping off the college wall or going to Centre Square Mall.

It is relief, when I am tired of listening to ‘….The body is leaf like, dorsoventrally flattened and bilaterally symmetrical and comes to about 0.5 mm in length and 0.25 mm in breadth…’ Here, I can be a teacher too.

My Mom knows I bunk certain classes, she doesn't have an issue until it affects me in a negative way. She understands, who can sit for two hours listening to one super fast express read out from the text about creatures we can’t see with the naked eye? Why, I could be a teacher too.

Zoology, two hours. I run to the hostel. Slowly sneak in and go to my room. Call Mom and tell her, “It’s Zoology and it’s the same whether I sit there or not.” I never miss Chemistry classes, because the tutor is good at fixing the topics in my mind. Coming from Humanities background, who knew I would kinda like Chemistry?

I don’t want to be a part of those who wanna sit in the class whether they understand or not and in the end doesn't even score well. And their attendance goes like

Xania Yas Zas        | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | P | Ab | P | P | P | P | P | P | P |

That ‘Ab’ you see right there, I am sure they are still crying at it.

Before joining St. Teresa’s few said ‘girls become bold, like very bold after joining St. Teresa’s’, someone told my Mother ‘The boys are scared of the girls from St. Teresa’s.’ Enough for my Mom to freak out.

LMAO. Like seriously. There’s nothing as such. Nothing’s like the way it looks from outside.

Adult life. I can say my thoughts have matured a bit or at least I still don’t think of dumb impossible things, the people I like and love and the way I think about certain people also have changed.  I used to prefer people who are a kinda soft or introverts but now I prefer more of the strong or kinda extroverts, not extreme either. I like people who speak up opening their heart and share their feelings. When you listen to them you know they aren't lying and their words are true. Yeah. I have got such friends too. Rest, it’s the same.

Right now, I don’t wanna think of what’s to come in future or what was life few months back, because the either makes me sad or scared or both. Right now, let me complete the next two years and wait for the goodness in store for me.

I write about me here not because I want the public to read about my life, I know they don't even care, but because I can mostly put up everything I feel and experience in a better way when I write. And behind my each post, I write for certain people to read. And also the people I believe read my blog, are the people I write the posts for.  

Ending with my sister’s quote. “On the path to your dreams you may come across temporary unhappiness. Dare to go on and at the end of the road your dreams will sparkle more than anything else you behold. Trust Allah. All the pain will be worth it.”

I received her quote as a message on 31^st of August 2015 at 11:05 AM, a day after her wedding anniversary. Quote’s value says the previous statement.

TRUST Matters

It matters...
So far whatever I have heard or read about Trust, I would say I haven't encountered anyone who could completely Trust me. I mean c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y. Nor have I trusted any human completely.
I am on my search for Trust, it is one of my goals in life to be achieved. Everyday when I pray, I ask for four necessities for my future, Trust is one of them. I want to meet someone Trustworthy, be it my best friend, someone I already know or any stranger. I want to experience it. I get jealous when people share their experiences related to Trust. I dislike or mostly hate people who don't Trust.
Trust makes a person feel better, relaxed, empowered and happier.
So TRUST tops my Goals List. 

Life's not fair, get used to it.

For one moment, take the time to enjoy your life. With the hustle and bustle of life, there are very few moments to sit back and enjoy what you see. Feel what you feel. And love what you love. Take the time today to enjoy your life!

My life has been full of ups and downs. There has been times when I felt like the only lonely one in this world. I always thought there was no one who could understand me, no one who actually loved me. I kept complaining to God for giving me such a miserable life. I could never achieve anything I wanted. I never worked hard, but I did try a bit. I thought only a bit of efforts could get me to success. But no, I was wrong. Things didn't workout the way I wanted. Everything went wrong... I went under depression for months. Never showed up. I have just recovered from it. Cos I learned a lesson...
God is never Unfair...
If he takes away something from you, he gives you back something good to balance the sorrows and happiness of life.We often get blind in our desires that we forget to thank that one person for what we already have. GOD.  Thank him for everything. He is the one who loves you the most, even more than your parents. There's a way to remind you of all your blessings. Whenever something memorable happens in your life, write it down on a piece of paper and mention the date. Roll it and keep it in a box. Open the box every weekend and read them. I'm sure you will feel like the best and the luckiest person in the world. I still do it. :)

Here are few of the things that didn't work for me last year,
1. Science Stream.
2. Asst. Sports Secretary.
3. Individual Championship in Athletic events.

and what God gave me instead,
1. Came up in the toppers list in the class - Humanities Stream.
2. I made last years Cluster Meet at Riyadh a memorable one. I did so much that I didn't know I could.
3. A best friend, with whom I can share anything.

For those who think that there's nothing left for you in this world cos someone you liked have betrayed you or exited your life...
Life doesn't stop whether someone comes in or goes out of your life. The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries. And its not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it, some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. It might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered anything at all. You're a whole new person with a whole new life.

That's life. These things are again coming up this year (Sports Secretary, Individual Championship..), maybe God wanted me to prove worth for the position? So. you see there is a reason behind everything. Ask yourself 'Have you been fair?'

- O - O - O -

Beginning of 2014 has been beautiful till now. Two of my elder sisters are expecting their second child this year. :') So, I'm gonna become an Aunt for the third and fourth time. Hehe. 

See ya.

Losing Hope.

Hope is the little voice you hear whisper 'maybe' when it seems the entire world is shouting 'NO.'

Hope is a gift of God. It is deep within us. It is up to us to use this wonderful gift to move forward in life. 
Losing hope will drag you down in life. It makes your situation worse and make you face all the negativity of life. 

Most often, people commit suicide as soon as they realize they are left with no choices. There is not a soul among us who has received everything they wanted in this life. Not even ONE. There are instead people who choose to take the lessons from their broken dreams and move on in life. They move on in life to make their next dream a reality. That is Hope. Go deep within YOU and you will find HOPE.

Have Faith. You must believe that things will work out well in the end. I believe God is in control of my life and he has got good plans for me. No matter how bad the situation turns out to be, I always trust him. Time and again, things turn out to be good, often in a way that I couldn't understand earlier. 

Remind Yourself of your Dreams. Ask yourself why are you doing what you are doing? What is it that you want? How will it feel after you achieve it? This will give you the Strength and Hope to get a step closer to your dreams. 

Be around Supportive People. I don't have to tell you why. You know being around supportive people will encourage you to live your life to the fullest.

Help Others. This way you will shift your focus from Yourself and your situation won't look as bad as it would otherwise.

You have bigger Dreams. You have the heart to achieve them. You are better than you are. GO make it happen.

Three things in life. LEARN, LIVE and HOPE.

Last post of the year. :')
I'm thankful to all the people I've met this year. Each one of you have taught me new lessons and changed my life. Thank you. :)
- Shark